Oh Kai

Dear Kai,
Why must you be such a loony little dog? I love you for it, but I wonder why such enthusiasm when you could be doing something else, like barking at nothing or chewing on a bone. Why must you be so mind-blowingly amazing that makes people jaw-dropped believers? You are unbelievable. You're supposed to be a PUPPY to everyone else, and I say this with all love, but why do you act like such an adult? So mature and loyal? I've been spoiled by you. I think you've put an end to my training career, because with you, everything comes so naturally. You're amazing, Kai, you really are. I don't need to train you. You're perfect :)

Love you!
Harper

I think I'm starting to hate Kai...She's tuning me out, testing my limits, and just losing her loyalty. I think I made a mistake. Maybe I shouldn't have asked for the little puppy. Maybe she would have been better of with someone who was willing to dedicate every minute of their life to her, not someone who had to deal with school, and friends and could not manage a growing puppy properly. Kai doesn't listen to me any more. She tunes me out. When I came home this morning from an over-night with my friends, I played with her, said hello, and ran through some tricks in the back yard. Then I pulled out my camera to take photos, and she stopped listening. I know what you might say, "Maybe she doesn't like the camera" but no, she loves the camera. I'll take it out and she'll get all exited and is ready for me to play and get some cool photos. She just stopped listening. I called her, "Kai!" so she would look at me; she didn't even flick her ear. I took the stick she was chewing on earlier and tried to make that exiting to lure her to look at me; she just looked for a second before continuing to bark irritably at nothing. I was at wits end. I turned around and left.
I did something wrong. When I got her, she was such a loving, bonded puppy. She wanted to be with ME. But now, she doesn't. She seems afraid of me. I do things she used to enjoy doing with me, and she just gives me the, "What the hell?" stare. I think I blew my chances with her when she was little and all I wanted her to do was tricks tricks tricks. I never spent bonding time with her. Or, at least bonding time that wasn't wrestling. That was a mistake, too. Now all she does is bite. Bite bite bite. My arms are bruised and scratched, it hurts bad. And when I tell her, "Kai, NO BITING." She looks at me and snaps at my face while barking and wagging her tail. Saying, "Please play with me!". I give her a toy and try to play with that, all she does is BITE.
On our walks, she pulls, she barks in a gut-wrenching, scary way; and she DOESN'T LISTEN. She ignores me completely. I didn't socialize her right.

I feel guilty in front of a million people.
I messed this dog up in an irreversible way and now she hates me.
I can't even touch her anymore...

Growing Pains

On November 26th, Kai fell out of the car and ended up with an extremely sprained knee. It had really gotten to me, especially to see the normally bouncy German shepherd puppy quiet, lethargic, and limping. I hated to see her that way, and it was all too much with people mindlessly bothering me at school.
On November 27th, a Tuesday, I came to school quietly. I longed to stay at home with my puppy. The day was rough, I couldn't explain to teachers why I didn't do my homework, and they didn't think an expensive trip to the vets office that lasted six hours was a accurate excuse. I even wondered if THEY had a dog that nearly ruined her future career. Lunch finally came, and I could unwind a little with my friends who understood how much my puppy meant to me, and even loved her a bunch too. Only, they had people who fallowed them. Mainly one person, a small, pale, thick-headed girl named Dustyn. She had a very aggravating, nasal voice to go with her awkward appearance. And that day, she decided I was in a vulnerable spot, easy to tease.
So she started going off about how I always smelled like dog, and how it was probably because I never took showers. Despite my friends causal, "Okay, that's enough" laugh, she kept on the taunting. "Just look at your hair! You never put it out of that ponytail. Do you sleep in that?" She sneered, advancing closer to me by a step. "Dustyn, look, stop. I don't want to hear it." I told her, looking away while stepping around her to lean on the bike-racks and listen to my friends, who had grown quiet because they couldn't decide to keep joking around or pitch in and shut Dustyn up.
"More like you can't hear me!" She turned around, grinning and exposing her braced, unbrushed teeth. I could feel my hands curling into tight fists, my fingernails digging into my palms. I clenched my teeth and stood up strait. Maybe if she remembered I was taller than her she'd stop.
"Dustyn. Really. Cut it out." I said firmly.
"Why should I dog breath?" She spat back.
I had had it, I walked very close to her and leaned forward.
"Dustyn, I'm gonna tell you one more time. Cut. It. Out."
"Dirt face! You have no right to tell me that!" She quickly snarled, grinning in an irritable, ugly way that I'd like to never see again.
And before I could stop myself, I saw my fist fly towards her face, and nail her on the soft spot under her jaw, and by the side of her neck. She screeched and flew backwards, hands over the spot I had hit.
She didn't cry, she didn't make a sound, all she did was stand there, hunched over, clutching her neck. My friends stared at me with an expression of, "What the heck, Harper?" I stared at her, with utter shock. Had I just done that? My mouth was slightly open, gasping for air. I realized I didn't breath much the whole time. I sighed quickly, and turned around.
"Shit, you guys. I have to leave; they'll kill me."
I said, before walking away, wishing that they'd fallow. I left to the east wall of the school, which wasn't far, but far enough that I wouldn't be suspected, bothered, or noticed. I leaned on the wall, before sliding down untill I was sitting on the small edge of concrete, legs arched, and my arms resting on them. I put my head down, and with held a scream. I'd never hit someone before, not that intense. And now, for certain, the school council would give me a super long detention round at the least. That meant less time to be with Kai.
Kai.
It was because of her getting hurt that I ended up in this position. I wished she was better, and I could play with her again. That I wouldn't have to watch her rest in her kennel and cry to go out and play.
My thoughts ended as I heard heavy foot steps toward me. And there she was, our second, most annoying AP, Mrs. West. She was alot more harsh than our other AP, Mrs. Oswick; and that just made my day worse.
I tuned out of my memory then, I'm able to do that. Just forget what happens. Like going unconscious. All I know is I managed to make it out with just a week of Lunch detentions, no morning detentions, no after schools detentions. I was glad. I still had time to be with my recovering dog.

The day was long, I mostly pondered how Dustyn turned out. How I might manage. What my friends would say about me. That bothered me the most. I tried not to think about it and focus on my class.
Passing Period. When it came, I lingered through the halls for three minutes, before finding myself walking in a horizontal line with my friends, listening to how "it was so cool" that I nailed her. When they piped down, I asked, "What happened to her?" They smiled and said, "She's right there. Look at that!" They pointed to her, who had a massive red spot on her neck. I took a sharp turn to the doors of the "pod", cutting off Kass.
I couldn't look at her. I couldn't talk to her. I was humiliated and she hadn't even looked at me. It was horrible. My friends fallowed and asked, "Dude, why'd you do that?" I shook my head and just said, "I don't know..."
7th period lasted forever. especially when I didn't pay attention to any of it. When the bell rang to announce I was free, I left as fast as I could.
I had Kai at home, I couldn't wait to see her, to tell her what happened. Maybe she'd feel better.

She did.
(NOTE: Kai is healed completely from her injury, and since then, Dustyn has moved because of her dad's job. Plus, I'm done with detentions. Hope that never happens again)

And then there was Dot

She started as just "Baby Girl" by her breeder. Living like that for about four weeks, before being surrendered to the shelter as "Dot", and being given to a foster family with her four brothers. Three weeks, five days later, she was spayed, assessed, and then placed in a kennel with her recently-neutered brothers, and the lights went out for the night. The next day, she was placed in a room by herself, with two people and a camera, her photo was snapped, and she was re-united with her siblings. In that time, her photo was posted on the shelter's website, and she was deemed adoptable. Roughly an hour later, I rose from my bed, and did the regular routine check on the website for who's been adopted, who's still here, and most importantly, who's new. But this time, there were four adorable German Shepherd mix puppies on the website.
I was in love. The oldest-and largest- male was the one I had my eyes set on. I loved the litter's names, though, Yakko(my favorite), Wakko, Warren, and then there was Dot. The only female puppy in the litter. The only female German Shepherd in the shelter. I completely over-looked her photo, though, only taking note that there was a girl in the litter to help convince my parents to come see them.
I also had one more persuasive trick up my sleeve. That day, July 21st, 2009, was my 12th birthday. I was counting it as one more year without my dream dog, as one more year being stuck with a small corgi mix that feared lots, didn't like agility, and the biggest factor: she didn't really like me. I had my heart set on getting a German Shepherd for a long time, and I mean a LONG time. I had first heard of the German Shepherd(not to mention fall in complete love with them) when I was three, and my dad would tell stories of his dog, Snoopy, a small, faith full female German shepherd that had crossed many boundaries to stay with him and his family.
I was deathly in love with the breed, and had grown an obsession with it by the time I was seven.
Then, years later, the dogs magically appeared in the shelter on the right day, with only one girl, and the perfect breed.

The whole day went with very little discussion of "Dot", or at least descussion of her when I was with in earshot. I visited the pet store in the mall and played with an adorable little ferret, then stopped and had lunch at Sakura Japan(a yummy teriyaki chicken restaurant in the place), and on the ride home, I made one more mention that I wanted to go see the puppy.
I spent about an hour on the computer, gazing at the pup's pictures(mourning that Yakko had been adopted), checking email, updating my "journal" on a website I was on, watching YouTube videos, ect. After a while, I became impatient, and ran up the stairs to ask if we could "please-hurry-up-and-see-the-puppy" again.
My parents room door was closed, and I heard them talking, so I knocked on the door rapidly, and when it was answered, I bounced up and down and asked, "can we PLEASE go see the puppy?". My mom agreed, and we piled into the Prius, and drove off. Just the simple car choise dampened my spirits. There was no way we would bring home a dog in that car, it was way too new.
When we finally got to the shelter, I sat in the chair waiting to be called up to meet "Dot", while I stared into the window that served as a wall to the puppies kennel. I wiggled my finger near the glass as the little puppy I was there to see looked at me. Her attention was easily caught with that, and she pranced over, pawing at the window, almost like a kitten. I laughed and crooned, despite the fact she couldn't hear me, and all the other people waiting must have thought I was crazy.
When the time Finlay came, I eagerly fallowed the adopter-specialist that worked there to the meeting area outside, and sat on the ground. She then left us to retrieve Dot, and I smiled at my mom, who'd taken the camera from me to take pictures. She was sitting on one of the stone benches, because she didn't want to get puppy all over her.
When Dot finally came into the area, I called to her, and was greeted by 9 1/2 pounds of happy puppy, with her soft puppy fur, and massive paws. I smiled, and ran my fingers through her fur, played with her, had her come to me, and just over all enjoyed meeting her.
When she was in my lap, my mom asked if I could hold her up for a picture. I gladly did, holding her next to my face and smiling happily. My mom took two pictures, then put the camera down to listen to the adopter-specialist, and her going on about puppy adoption. I listened too, but I was very focused on the near-asleep puppy in my lap.
After the adopter-specialist finished, my mom said, "Well, Happy Birthday." I nodded and said, "hmm, yeah, thanks." So what, I got to meet dogs all the time, I didn't consider this much of a birthday gift. "You just have to pay for socialization classes." My mom added.
I was stunned. Did I hear that right? Was the puppy....Mine? It seemed so because my mom and the Adopter-specialist we're talking about the care package to take her home with. I was near to tears, I couldn't believe how happy I was! I pressed my face into her fur and told her, "Guess what, puppy. You're mine. And I love you." I already had a name picked for a puppy, Kai, which means "Willow" in Navajo Native American. I loved the name. Besides, "Dot" just didn't fit her.
I took her home and from that day, we've been inseparable since. It's now 5 months later, and Kai and I are still bonded. But I must say, it's difficult managing a puppy, a social life, and school all at once. But I'll make it, I'm sure.
Kai would help me all the way.